Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
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