sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
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