so explain again why im purple
no
I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Text me some of your sweat
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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