Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize