I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
I love you.
Bad choice
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