The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize