Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
apparently the secret to your success is patron
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
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