I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Yo dont text me then not text me
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
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