there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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