we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
