Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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