burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize