it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize