why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Randomize
