do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
The best revenge is premature balding
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
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