The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
