and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
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