Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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