things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
