dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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