I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize