we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
They took my balls.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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