think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
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