I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Randomize
