On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
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