What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
