Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
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