I looked at my own cervix.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
