We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
