I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
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