32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Randomize
