bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
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we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
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THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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