There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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