Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
21 Bartenders That Are Definitely Winning At Their Jobs
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.