Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.