How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.