No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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