shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
