quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize
