my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
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