I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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