Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
