yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
