I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
