I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize
