So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
You dont lie about slip and slides
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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