He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
