you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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