I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Randomize
