You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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