i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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