Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Randomize
