He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
