haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize
