even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
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So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
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I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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