Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
