you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
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