so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
