have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize