doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
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