Sponge bath it is.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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