He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
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